Dar pena

/dar PEH-nah/

To evoke feelings of pity, sadness, or secondhand embarrassment; also, to feel shy or embarrassed about doing something.

Level:B1Register:InformalCommon:★★★★★

💡 Understanding the Idiom

Literal Translation:

"To give pity/sorrow"

What It Really Means:

To evoke feelings of pity, sadness, or secondhand embarrassment; also, to feel shy or embarrassed about doing something.

English Equivalents:

To feel sorry forTo be patheticTo feel shy/embarrassedTo be cringeworthy

🎨 Literal vs. Figurative

💭 Literal

Literally, this means 'to give pity' or 'to give sorrow'.

✨ Figurative

In practice, it's used to say you feel sorry for something, or that you feel shy.

Key Words in This Idiom:

dar

to give

→

pena

📝 In Action

Me da pena ver a los perritos abandonados en la calle.

It makes me sad to see abandoned puppies on the street.

A mi hermana le da pena hablar en público, se pone muy nerviosa.

My sister is shy about speaking in public, she gets very nervous.

El discurso del político fue terrible, de verdad daba pena ajena.

The politician's speech was terrible, it was truly cringeworthy.

📜 Origin Story

The word 'pena' comes from the Latin 'poena', which meant 'punishment' or 'suffering'. The expression 'dar pena' evolved from this idea. When something 'gives you pena', it is literally giving you a feeling of suffering or sadness on behalf of someone or something else. It’s a very direct and emotional concept.

⭐ Usage Tips

Who is Feeling What?

This phrase works 'backwards' compared to English. The thing that CAUSES the feeling is the subject of the sentence. The person who FEELS the emotion is an indirect object (me, te, le, nos, os, les). So, 'El cachorro me da pena' literally means 'The puppy gives pity to me'.

Pity vs. Shyness

'Dar pena' has two major uses: feeling sorry for someone ('Me da pena tu situación') and feeling shy or embarrassed ('Me da pena pedir ayuda'). The context is usually enough to tell you which meaning is intended.

'Pena Ajena': Feeling Embarrassed for Someone Else

A very common variation is 'dar pena ajena', which means 'to feel secondhand embarrassment' or 'to cringe'. You use it when someone else does something so embarrassing that YOU feel uncomfortable for them.

❌ Common Pitfalls

Using 'Tener' instead of 'Dar'

Mistake: "A common mistake is trying to translate 'I feel pity' directly and saying 'Yo tengo pena por el perro'."

Correction: In Spanish, the feeling is 'given' to you. The correct structure is always 'Me da pena el perro' (The dog gives me pity). Remember: the sad thing 'da pena'.

🌎 Where It's Used

🇪🇸

Spain

Extremely common for all its meanings: pity, shyness, and secondhand embarrassment ('pena ajena').

🌎

Latin America

Widely used and understood. In some countries, 'dar lástima' might be a more common synonym for evoking pity, while 'dar pena' is frequently used for shyness. 'Pena ajena' is also very common in countries like Mexico and Colombia.

🔗 Related Idioms

↔️Similar Meanings

dar lástima

To evoke pity (focuses only on pity, not shyness).

dar vergüenza

To be embarrassing or to make someone feel ashamed/shy.

⇆Opposite Meanings

dar orgullo

To make someone feel proud.

dar alegría

To make someone feel happy.

✏️ Quick Practice

💡 Quick Quiz: Dar pena

Question 1 of 2

If someone says 'Me da pena tu amigo, siempre está solo', what do they mean?

🏷️ Tags

EmotionsSadnessCommonly UsedSocial Interactions

Frequently Asked Questions

Can 'dar pena' be insulting?

Yes, definitely. While it can express genuine compassion ('Me da pena que hayas perdido tu trabajo'), saying someone 'da pena' directly ('Ese hombre da pena') can be a strong insult, implying they are pathetic or contemptible. Tone and context are crucial.