Me da pena
/meh dah PEH-nah/
To feel pity, sorrow, or secondhand embarrassment for someone or something; to feel shy or ashamed.
💡 Understanding the Idiom
🎨 Literal vs. Figurative
Literally, this means 'it gives me sorrow/pity'.
It's used to say you feel sorry for someone, feel embarrassed, or feel shy.
Key Words in This Idiom:
📝 In Action
Me da pena ver a los animales en el refugio. Ojalá todos tuvieran un hogar.
B1It makes me sad to see the animals in the shelter. I wish they all had a home.
¿Puedes preguntar tú? A mí me da pena hablar con extraños.
B1Can you ask? I feel shy talking to strangers.
Le dio pena quitarse los zapatos porque tenía un agujero en el calcetín.
B2He was embarrassed to take off his shoes because he had a hole in his sock.
📜 Origin Story
The word 'pena' comes from the Latin 'poena', which meant 'punishment' or 'penalty'. This idea of suffering evolved over centuries. Instead of just meaning a punishment you receive, it began to describe the emotional pain you feel when you see someone else suffering. From there, its meaning expanded to include other kinds of social discomfort, like the awkwardness of shyness or the sting of embarrassment.
⭐ Usage Tips
Three Feelings in One
Think of 'dar pena' as a multi-tool for emotions. It covers: 1. Pity/Sympathy ('Me da pena el perrito'). 2. Shyness ('Me da pena cantar'). 3. Embarrassment ('Me da pena mi foto vieja'). The context is your guide to which meaning is intended.
It's About the 'Giver'
This phrase is structured a bit backwards from English. Instead of saying 'I feel sorry for the dog', you say 'The dog gives me pity' ('El perro me da pena'). The thing causing the emotion is the 'giver' or the subject of the sentence.
❌ Common Pitfalls
More Than Just 'Sad'
Mistake: "Using 'me da pena' anytime you feel sad, like if your favorite team loses."
Correction: While related to sadness, 'pena' is more specific. It's about sympathy for someone else or social discomfort (shyness/embarrassment). For general sadness about your own situation, it's more common to say 'estoy triste' or 'me pone triste'.
🌎 Where It's Used
Spain
Extremely common and used for all three main meanings: pity, shyness, and embarrassment.
Latin America
Very common. In some countries, 'vergüenza' is more frequent for 'embarrassment', but 'pena' is widely used and understood everywhere, especially for expressing pity and shyness.
🔗 Related Idioms
✏️ Quick Practice
💡 Quick Quiz: Me da pena
Question 1 of 1
If your friend says, 'Me da pena pedir ayuda', what do they likely mean?
🏷️ Tags
Frequently Asked Questions
What's the difference between 'me da pena' and 'me da vergüenza'?
They can sometimes overlap, but there's a key difference. 'Me da vergüenza' almost always means 'I'm embarrassed' or 'I'm ashamed'. 'Me da pena' is broader; it can mean embarrassment, but it can also mean shyness or feeling pity for someone else. Think of 'vergüenza' as pure embarrassment, while 'pena' is a mix of social discomfort and sympathy.