You Gave a Speech at the Wrong Leaving Do

ok so something a bit embarrassing just happened at work

ok a LOT embarrassing

so you know Sandra from accounts is leaving today right

right. so I spent all morning writing a speech for her

like a proper speech. jokes, memories, the whole thing

I walked into the kitchen at 12:30 and there were people around the table with a cake so I just... started

yes. I stood up and said "Sandra, 14 years is a long time and this office will never be the same without you"

it was Derek's birthday. not Sandra's leaving do. Derek from IT. he turned 40.

it gets worse

Audio message

and THEN I said "so please raise your cups and say goodbye to Sandra"

and Sandra walked in through the door at that exact second carrying a box of donuts

with DONUTS

she looked at me. I looked at her. Derek was still holding his "Happy 40th" balloon

I said "...and those donuts look lovely, Sandra" and walked out

anyway. Sandra's actual leaving do is at 2pm. in the same kitchen. I still need to give the real speech.

45 minutes

yes I know

...probably

oh. that's actually not bad

ok I can do this. what else

she once saved the Henderson account by staying until midnight and fixing a spreadsheet with like 4000 errors in it

and she always remembers everyone's birthdays. like literally everyone. even the interns

ROSA. that's genius

ok ok. one more thing. do I apologise to Derek first or after

a chocolate bar 😂 ok

wish me luck

Audio message

apparently yes

she walked in with the donuts anyway

yeah. that's kind of what the speech was about tbh